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The greatest database ever

Trough the fiery caverns we sail
Virgin at my side, my guide and master
Questing through the nine plains of hell
(Iced Earth – Dante’s Inferno)

Another day at work… Another day of troubles with a piece of shit known as MySQL. MyISAM, InnoDB, NBD, Memory, Merge, Federated. They announced that 5.4 will bring new storage engine along. As these current ones were not enough. Apparently not. Because they are all stinkin’ worthless shit. Dozen of storage engines and none of them really works. I hate MySQL… And every day of being forced to use it, I hate it more and more. MySQL is on a good path to surpass even vegeterians on my black list. I hated Sun for acquiring MySQL AB. I then loved Oracle for acquiring Sun : ) Because I hope that MySQL will be beaten to death, raped, ripped, torn apart, bombarded, nuked, and then reborn just to repeat the process again. That is the crappiest database world has ever seen. It’s insult to others like PGSQL to call that piece of hackery a database. Why don’t you need 10 different storage engines with PostgreSQL? Because they have one that works kicks, and kicks ass of all MySQL ones for example. Those guys at MySQL are idiots. In the dictionary under word idiot is supposed to be the following explanation: “The guy that engineers or programs MySQL”. And what about SQL92 standard? That’s whole other storry to tell. How the guys at MySQL AB break standards can be seen as the greatest try to redefine word Microsoft ever. INSERT with SET instead of VALUES? And all other bullshit? So that they can be sure noone will switch over to some other normal database ever… Fuckin’ morons…

  1. Well said!
    July 24, 2014 at 10:16 am

    As a hardcore PG user, I cannot agree more and lolling so hard..

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